folded underwear (and 99 other things)

Re-married life has brought with itself many unexpected splendors. One of the more interesting is folded underwear.

Some of you may recall my sharing with you a tradition I started several years back; the Thanksgiving week tradition of writing 100 things for which I'm thankful. This may sound trite or a even a bit contrived, or it could be an intentional discipline of exercising thankfulness and humility. I'll choose the latter as it sounds much more spiritual.

The first thing I'm thankful for this year is folded underwear. Seriously. The first time Christie did all the laundry after we re-married, I came home to a dresser filled with folded underwear, socks and t-shirts! You have to understand, though I kept a clean and organized home as a single man, I NEVER folded my underwear. As a matter of fact, I would throw and shove my underwear, socks and t-shirts into their respective drawers, and felt that was more than sufficient. So, I shared with my beautiful bride that she really didn't need to fold my underwear...

It so happened that I was the one to finish the laundry next time around, so I did what I always do... throw and shove. But sure enough, when Christie did the laundry the following week she folded and neatly placed all my unmentionables in their proper places.

Then last week, when I once again opened my dresser to a freshly replenished drawer of folded skivvies, I smiled, laughed, shook my head, and asked myself, "Why does she bother to do this?" I knew she didn't fold my underwear out of wifely duty or because they fit better folded than thrown and shoved. And, to be honest, I still don't know why she folds them but this is what the Lord placed on my heart when I opened that drawer that day:

your bride gives you her time and effort
to do something you feel is unnecessary
because she loves you
and wants to show you her love
in every little way she can

I still haven't asked Christie why she folds my underwear, but I hope she never stops. Every time I open my drawer to neatly placed and beautifully folded BVD's, I will thank the God of all creation for entrusting me with his beautiful daughter who thinks of me and loves me... even in ways no one else will ever know (except that I guess you actually do know now).

humbled. again.

Have you ever heard the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"? Sometimes I think the same is true on the road to heaven!

There is so much that we CAN influence and control, and then there is ONLY so much we can influence and control. We can have the best of intentions, a heart in the right place, do our best to be humble, try our hardest to be a good friend in the faith... and still get it wrong. Or at least not right.

And this is EXACTLY why I removed words like right and wrong from my vocabularly years ago. They are divisive and arrogant, and if we are all part of the family of God then we must be careful not to let anything come out of our mouths that does not edify the body. Though I may be branded as a liberal for such a statement, as a father I have witnessed that my daughter chooses "less than the best" more often than she chooses "wrong". The significant difference between these two philosophies is how it plays out when we approach the other party.

If I approach Camille with the conviction that she is wrong, then I must be right and the only resolution - regardless of things I may be unaware - is that she submit to my rightness (which is not to be confused with my "righteousness").

However, if I approach Camille with the conviction that she has choosen less than her best, then I have the opportunity - a graciously difficult one, mind you - to seek to understand why she chose the way she did and then to partner with her in helping her choose more wisely in the future. This is much more healthy for our relationship and for her future. And, I believe this is how God, our heavenly Father, parents us, His children. Once we accept our position as one of his children, his sole aim is to lavish his love on us that we might lavish his love on others, more and more (keeping in mind that God is both love and truth).

Back to the "proverbial fan" story...
I found myself having a conversation today that started over 6 months ago. I, with the best of intentions, was trying to encourage, lead and challenge a brother whom I love. Unfortunately, my communication with and understanding of him was less than my best, though my intentions were good. Neither of us did anything mean or inappropriate, yet feelings were hurt, misunderstandings were had and the relationship suffered. However, each of us was willing to submit to our love for God and our love for one another MORE than to our desire to be right.

I may have choosen less than my best along the road (to heaven) but I am grateful to be the friend of a man who knew my heart and didn't declare me wrong.

It is humbling to live as one
who knows he is not innocent,
yet is declared "not guilty"
by the Almighty God.

new desk. same determination.

That is what
the Son of Man has done:
He came to serve, not be served
and then to give away his life ...

Matthew 20:28 (the msg)

I have excerpt from Oswald Chambers next to my desk. I have a new office and a new desk, but I pray the newness doesn't push out all that has brought me here. You know how newness can do that, right? Cause you to focus so much on what's in front of you right now that you forget, neglect or even leave behind what brought you to such a place?

This is the condensed version of Oswald's excerpt:

Paul's idea of service is the same as our Lord's: "I am among you as He that serveth"; "ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake."

This is Paul's idea of service - 'I will spend myself to the last ebb for you; you may give me praise or give me blame, it will make no difference. So long as there is a human being who does not know Jesus Christ, I am his debtor to serve him until he does.'

The mainspring of Paul's service is not love for men, but love for Jesus Christ. If we are devoted to the cause of humanity, we shall soon be crushed and broken-hearted, for we shall often meet with more ingratitude from men than we would from a dog; but if our motive is love to God, no ingratitude can hinder us from serving our fellow men.

When we realize that Jesus Christ has served us to the end of our meanness, our selfishness, and sin, nothing that we meet with from others can exhaust our determination to serve men for His sake.

Or you could say:
living Life... loving God and loving others.

i am not my own

I woke up yesterday with this thought ... ok, so it wasn't the FIRST thought after I woke up but it was definitely the one after that ... anyway, the phrase "your life is not your own" kept running through my brain. So, I looked it up to remind myself where it's actually found in Scripture:

Or do you not know that your body is a temple
of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?
You are not your own, for you were bought with a price.
So glorify God in your body.
(1 Corinthians 6.19-20)

I am not my own; my life is not mine to govern.
I was bought with a price; I was purchased, ransomed.
And I am now "in" my body; this means that which is "not my own" and was "bought" - both being the same thing, namely ME - is presently resident "in" my body but not eternally bound to my body (i.e. if I am "in", then I can be "out").

This would also mean I am not responsible for the CIRCUMSTANCES I experience. Though I am always responsible for MY CHOICES (the ones I make "in" the body), but NOT for the circumstances preceding or proceeding from those choices ... IF I am walking according to my understanding of God, His Word and His revelation to me thorugh His Holy Spirit.

(You may want to read that again...
AND, here's an example of what I'm getting at:
Think of the story of Joseph in Genesis. Josephs was not responsible for the myriad of circumstances he faced - both good and bad - but in all things he held himself accountable to his choices and was obedient to God)

So, here is the thought that developed, upon which I still ponder... so feel free to ponder with me:

• Why am I HERE?
  ("here" referring to my current position in the space-time continuum)
• If I am here because of OBEDIENCE,
  then I should never pray for less suffering and more blessing, but for more FAITH that I might continue in my body, in obedience, for God's glory (and because He is trusting me to trust Him).
• If I am here because of DISOBEDIENCE,
  then I shouldn't be surprised by any suffering and should also pray for more FAITH that I might become obedient and therefore give God room to prove His love for me. (side note: it's hard to prove your love for someone when they continually walk away from you, except that they're always there when you turn around... God's cool like that).

FAITH
=
(God's stated promises + faithful character)
x
(our humble trust + coherent action)